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Musings of a Grown A** Woman — grief

This Holiday

Shantel Walz American Gods amwriting autonomy balance blog blogger break death depression engage expectations expression family fatherhood Fathers Day grief guilt honesty husband legacy life loss love marriage men momblog musings no guilt parenthood parenting parents realness rethink sadness season finale self care Starz Sunday thanks thoughts tired understanding weekend welcome wife women writer

  This HolidayIt's Father's Day here in North America…and the only thing I'm excited about is the season finale of “American Gods” on Starz tonight. Color me aloof AF. Last year was spent on a pillow of tears the first half of the day followed by snowballs and lamentations that evening. Today, I have what seems to be the beginnings of a sinus infection and a fistful of anger. I'm mad as hell that I can't call my dad or grandfathers. I'm sure some of you are thinking, “Doesn’t she have a husband who is the father of her son?”...

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Broken Bough: Dead Man's Tales

Shantel Walz adult art artist blog blogger children death expectations expression family family ties family tree grief honesty infidelity legacy life men musings parents realness relationships rethink thoughts writer

Many moons ago, an old guy named John Dryden was quoted having said, “Dead men tell no tales.” Well, he dead azz lied. I've uncovered so much about my dad and grandfather in the past year that I could write novels based on their lives. No really. I could. One day, I may. During my childhood, they both seemed so mysterious. Especially my father. Not living in the same house with him, having a ridiculously active imagination, and seeing his motorcycles/race cars, I created the person I wanted him to be. In my teen years, I witnessed him make an attempt...

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It's Time to Get My Life...and Afterlife

Shantel Walz art artist blog blogger break creativity depression entrepreneur expectations free fun grief hiatus honesty inspired journey life loss love momblog motherhood poetry realness rethink return self care thanks thoughts unique welcome women writer

Long time no see! About 2 years to be exact. Go ahead and air punch me, I give you permission. For the past year and some change, I found myself somewhere in the crosswalk of despair and desperation. Despair because I lost my father, grandfather, and father-in-law in a 9 month span. Desperation because I wanted my old life and old self to return so badly. During my time away, I've learned so much about everything, especially myself. Before my father died unexpectedly in a motorcycle crash, I had every facet of my life planned out to a science. Even down to blog posts; I...

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